Ed has Moved

Ed's wisdom can now be found at www.stuffthatedsays.tumblr.com

Empire State of Ed

Ed Says - "New Yorkers don’t eat pork."

My Take - This was said during a conversation about whether or not opening a kolache shop in NYC would be a good business move. New York is a lot like Boston in that there are a lot of donut shops, but this one guy thought bringing something unique, like kolaches would be a good idea. Ed thought otherwise. According to Ed, all New Yorkers are Jews and all kolaches have pork in them. Therefor a kolache shop in NYC would be a complete failure.

Ed Gets Smacked

Ed Says - "When I was a kid, our dad would just punch us right in the face."

My Take - This was overheard as part of a conversation about disciplining children. Most of the women took the spanking route with their kids, but they were retelling stories of how their parents disciplined them as kids. Ed interjected with this morsel. I don't think child abuse is funny... except in this case. It's not funny that he was punched int he face by his dad. It is funny how he just piped up and said it even though he wasn't part of the conversation.

Ed's a Freedom Fry Man

Ed Says - "I've been to France 5 times. Everything there is made in France. You don’t have a choice what to buy. A pair of socks says “made in France” and it costs $12.00. Everything has to be made in France. If you want to import something like a video recorder, it has to be trucked out to this remote village in the alps where this 1 guys opens the box, stamps it, reseals it and then you get it. Everything is made in France."

- I don't know where to begin with how ridiculous this is

Someone Get Ed a Ruler

Ed Says - "Boston has had 60 feet of snow this winter, and NYC has had 40 feet. not inches.. FEET"

Reality says - http://www.boston.com/news/weather/articles/2011/01/28/region_isnt_taking_massive_snow_accumulation_lightly/

My Take - If Ed just knew the difference between feet and inches, or was less emphatic about being dramatic, he would have been correct for the 1st time.... Ever. I mean really Ed, did you expect anyone to think your claim was accurate? 60 feet of snow would have resulted in hundreds of thousands of homes being crushed. 60 feet is nearly twice as high as the Green Monster at Fenway park.
Maybe saying off the wall crap like this is his way of scaring people into thinking his ice age theory is on target and that they'll go out and buy space suits.

Ed's Alternate Reality

Ed Says - "Remember when they assassinated that congresswoman in Phoenix? "

Reality Says - http://abcnews.go.com/WNT/video/rep-gabby-giffords-speaks-wounded-congresswoman-gabrielle-talking-woodruff-12879163

Ed Says Something Profound

Ed Says - "That's why science and history are so interesting. How could you make that shit up? You can’t."

Ed Hates Bill Gates

Ed Says - "Microsoft is going to collapse in 10 years. Android is the number one operating system in the WORLD"

Reality Says - http://www.readwriteweb.com/archives/android_market_share_numbers_questioned.php

My Take - Look, Microsoft is so ingrained in everyday life, government, small business etc., it's not going anywhere. Apple products are so overpriced, no business is going to make a wholesale change. And while Android may be free right now, it won't be forever. Google is just as guilty of Shanghaiing other people's work as MSFT. And Ed, if you have to reload Windows every 30 days, you might want to lay off the internet porn or sketchy conspiracy sites. It's not Windows that's the problem, it's whatever it is you're downloading.

Why Ed Didn't Cut it as a Doctor

Ed Says - "When i was in school, all med students were on speed."

Ed Does Feng Shui

Ed Says - "I have wind chimes in every room in my house. The Chinese have had them for over 2000 years. I recommended we put one in every office."

My Take - Really? Am I supposed to fart to get the wind chime to make noise? My windows don't open and there's no air movement. Even if there was air moving in my office, it would take more than a Chinese trinket to bring me inner peace.

New Feature

I'm going to start adding "My Take" after some of the posts. I won't do it for all, but it was pointed out to me today that I should add a little something to some of these statements. I didn't think it was necessary at first, but now I think it's a good idea. If nothing else, I'll put the statement into context so you know how it came to be.

I certainly don't want our hero to find this blog and suggest it was all taken out of context.

UPDATE UPDATE UPDATE

Ed just confirmed this morning that the United States now imports 87% of our seafood from China. That's up 7% from our earlier posting.

Ed Don't Play that Whole Wheat Game

Ed Says - "Whole wheat foods don't do anything for you, and they taste just awful."

Reality says - http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2007/05/070509161030.htm

Ed Knows Health

Ed Says - "I don't get along with nutritionists."

My Take - This comment was made while Ed was trying to dispute the benefits of whole wheat foods. Ed's position is that nutritionists are only concerned with calories and that he knows better than most of them do about what the human body needs. You'll discover this over time. It might also be noted that later in the day, while talking about diabetes and how most overweight people are headed down the diabetes road (which many are), he pointed out that he needed to lose 2 inches off his waist... bringing him from a 42 to a cool even 40. He wasn't concerned with losing pounds, but inches. Yup, this is who I'll go to for all my health and nutrition advice in the future.

Ed the Meteorologist

Ed Says - "We’re going to have an ice age in the next 10 years and the only protection from the next ice age is a space suit."

My Take - This statement has been made several times. Ed and one of his pals are convinced that they have discovered a new weather pattern that the worlds weathermen and weather-women have completely overlooked. Now i won't sit here and say that the common man hasn't made great discoveries, but not THIS common man. The day a county librarian and an accountant discover a "life on planet earth altering" weather system will be the day I purchase my own space suit.

Ed Might be Bionic

Ed Says - "Flu shots are made up of a bunch of chopped up viruses. You should get as many flu shots as you can each year because they are all different and that way you’ll be immune."

My Take - REALLY??

Ed Doesn't Play the Ponies

During the 2008 primaries while supporting Hilary Clinton, Ed said - "I would never vote for Obama because i don’t support losers."

Reality Says - "http://www.whitehouse.gov/"

The Fall of Communism

Ed Says - "The Soviet Union was brought down when the people got copies of cops and robber movies on VHS"

Ed Doesn't Love Hanukkah

Ed Says - "Some Jews are ok... others are just awful"

Reality Says - "Ed, you're a dick."

Ed Loves the Holidays

Ed Says - "All Christmas lights are made in Chinese prisons."

The Impending Oatmeal Crisis

Ed says - "We’re going to have a storm every 2 weeks, and you may not be able to buy oatmeal in the fall, or it’ll be $5 a box"

Upon finding Oatmeal on sale for $1 a box, Ed bought 35 boxes which comes out to 420 packs of oatmeal. His logic is that, no matter what happens in the world, he'll have oatmeal.

Historical Ramblings

Ed Says - "We import 80% of our fish from China"

Reality Says - http://www.nationmaster.com/red/pie/eco_tra_wit_us_us_imp_of_fis_and_she-trade-us-imports-fish-shellfish

Ed Says - "As long as water is moving, it’s perfectly safe. Moving water kills bacteria. You know those people that bath in the Ganges in India? If you stand downriver 9’, the water is perfectly clean."

Reality Says - http://www.wordfocus.com/word-ganges.html

Ed Says - "I have an IQ of 180."

Reality Says - http://www.iqcomparisonsite.com/IQBasics.aspx

Ed Says - "Have I given you my list of healthy things?"

Introduction

I typically hear one bizarre rant from Ed each day. Sometimes he repeats himself, sometimes he contradicts himself. Mostly he just annoys the crap out of me. He's been doing this for years, but I only just now decided that his wisdom must be shared with the world.

Most of the time his rants are loaded with inaccuracies. When that is the case, i will post a link that refutes his statements.

I won't post all of his rants leading up to this moment all at once. But I'll give you a taste and you can come back as often as you want to read more. Remember... this is REAL. He REALLY says this stuff, and some people REALLY believe him.

Enjoy